I can only imagine.

On a good day.

I want to share my reflection on the movie; I can only imagine! Hang on as we learn a few things here and there… To be precise I have watched this movie for over eight times. It never grows old or stale for me. Every time I watch it, I am reminded of my life, I resonate a lot with the story of Bart Millard

Well to begin with, This particular movie is based on a true story of Bart Millard. He is part of Mercy Me band. He narrates a story of an abusive dad (Arthur ) while growing up. His parents divorced at his early age leaving him at the mercy of an abusive dad. The guy who turns out to be the lover of God, having embraced the faith at his time of death. He actually gets to deeply love his son.

You will be quick to wonder, did I grow up with an abusive dad? No, not at all! On the contrary I grew up with a very loving dad. But you ask, How does the story resonate with my life? Stay with me it will come to play. As the movie begins we see the creative bit of Bart. He has this hand made helmet! That evening the dad comes and burns all his efforts in wink of an eye. My heart is broken, this does not stop him from adventuring into other things.

He has this great love for music, he has a beautiful voice, He has a specific music shops he picks different collection of music, on the contrary the dad thinks he should try his luck in football. In his time as a footballer he got hurt and had to quit. He was bitter at a thought he won’t be able to be in the pitch again. Albeit God has it figured out differently.

He gets a position as the technical support for the music department, one day as he is attending to his duties. The music teacher realises he has this beautiful voice. He is made the lead in music, this will lead to a band formation. In his quest to scale heights in music industry he does everything to make it to the brim. He messes up and at times collided with the members, His close friend to.

He starts his run away feeling, out of his anger, bitterness which were all rooted to his abusive dad. He is not ready to confront his root of all conflicts. One time in their concert after failing to get an approval from one of the most celebrated gospel artist Amy Grant. Hell broke loose and he couldn’t take it.

As this is happening they are on a musical tour. He had not spoken to his dad nor had interest in knowing how he is doing. This unattended pain is leading him to be a short tempered person, He is haste in his dealings and this is affecting his life and that of the band members. Upon the advice by the director he takes a trip back home. To go sort things out with the dad.

Back at home his dad had a new found faith! And in his search to quench the thirst of the new found faith he is reading a lot, this is translating to changes in his life. He even writes a letter to his son in hopes he will come and reconcile. As fate has it, Bart Millard did not bother to read the letter. Ever doubted God in your faith? Trust you me, when he needs you at a particular place, at a particular time He will make it possible.

Now, as Mart is on his journey to mend the brokenness in his heart, his dad on the other side is eagerly waiting for him. You see, the dad thinks he received the letter thus his sudden appearance, on the other side Bart is wondering why the dad is acting up all well.

Initially it doesn’t go well and we see Mart again running away, walking out of his dad who is all peaceful and open to make it up for the mess he did! Well, Mart tries to start his bike and it fails to start, he decides to take his dad’s truck. This changes his life! Inside the truck, he came across a document that brings a trajectory of his life. He learns that his dad is battling cancer!

This information that Bart came across changes his view of his dad. He politely goes back to the house ready to confront all he had carried as a baggage and also be able to spend the last leg of his dad’s life.I want to pick a few things in this movie that I resonate with:

I have been a ran away person, as we talk I have that feeling very live and actively dominating my life. Just like Bart who had packed his bag to be away from his dad just to avoid facing his anger and confront it. Am also running away from confronting a certain reality in my life. My case is different am not struggling with anger, but am struggling with facing my people and telling them I aint getting married as they are all waiting for my comeback.

Thanks to covid it has acted as my scapegoat of confronting the reality. The borders are opened up, but I have every reason why it is really hard for me to travel. Truth be told if I was not confronting the ran away feeling! I would have travelled home months ago.

Just like Bart, I ask the Lord to help me gain the courage and go home say as it is. I feel held hostage, I am in chains, I dread the question when are you coming or even the question of wedding which is much awaited . You see, this has been a much awaited event bearing in mind the biological clock is seriously ticking.

I cant face the look on my mums face after learning that the joy she had experienced is cut short. It is devastating, the last scene I want in my life. This has led me to doing some drastic thing that I didnt anticpate, Just one day God, This God will bring it to pass.

I at times experience panic attacks, I have this dread of what future looks like, I have had portions of regret, I have made terrible mistakes, I have felt like a failure, I have asked what is life, and what is its meaning? I have found myself with , giving up as the easiest option! Just in time when I feel like my life is the craziest, then and then I encounter a person who is having a real tough patch in theirs.

What this does to me, it gives me a rebound, am able to listen to people and connect deeply. I have made it my top to do list as majoring on the small things that are working, looking to God whose love is unconditional. I have this smile that never leaves my face. I joy in hosting people especially those in my reach, give them a top notch treat, encourage them and put a smile in their lives.

You may ask is all well with me now? And I will say I am work in progress, I look to the one who has it all figured out. I live a life of total surrender, I have released all I have and just let it be. Looking to the author and the perfecter of my life. Why? He knows how it ends. It can only get better, each passing day is another sign that God is not yet done with me.

Are you having a bad day, look to Jesus! Have you made silly and stupid mistakes? Look to Jesus! Are you struggling with a ran away feeling? Look to Jesus! Are you broken and feeling you have had enough? Look to Jesus!

My lessons, my mantra on daily basis, faith over fear! The kingdom of God first! One day at a time! Even this will pass! God moments always suffice! It is in His plan! When it is the right he will perfect all that cincerns me! It cannot said better than it is now,

I can only imagine movie is a personal walk for me, as I see Bart riding that bike leaving all that he knows just because of displeasure, I see my ran away struggle! The first time I heard about Mercy Me it was immediately after form four. That is almost fifteen years ago! They had a tour to our country, then the song made meaning, but now it makes more meaning.

I want to journal this for my future to be reminded of my struggle when I get on the other side of success. I will be back soon. God is love, He expects of us to incarnate the same love to all people that we come across.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s