We are living in very uncertain days. So, yesterday evening I received a scare call from home. Well, my mum has been unwell, after a doctors visit we discover her saturation was low and her pressure was really alarming. Well, she had a new set of medication that was prescribed to her. Her first dose didn’t go well with her body. She was profusely sweating and quite uncomfortable as the day went by.
Currently mum is all alone at home with a guy who tends to our farm. For some weeks now, the transformer that feeds power to our home exploded, this means no power at home, as a result once in a while you can’t get mom on phone.
Yesterday was that day, as it is our norm, my siblings and I we call to check how her day was. It all began with our young sister, she called and no one responded. As a human being she is, the mind game played real trick on her.😚😚. She called all of us to ask who last spoke to mum.🤗
The drama began; the kind of panic that went around is unbearable, it was getting to 10pm and curfew time was shy of few minutes. How to navigate this was a real test.
One of my mothers daughter called a neighbour in the village to go check what was happening, the other daughter sneaked out of her house and called for a boda to pick her up heading home.
Mum was peacefully asleep and no cause for alarm. She had a knock at the door, scared and confused, it was the neighbour. She got so scared and thought someone was sick and she was needed to help. In a nick of time my sister landed. This brought more confusion to mum.😍
Just know, yesterday my heart almost stopped, may God grant us shocks to be able to handle things that will come our way. How it went down is very hilarious, story of its own.
Times are difficult and unpredictable, spend time with those you love. None is guaranteed of tomorrow verbalise what your people mean to you more oftenly. When we can still breath lets share more light moments and love more than hating.
Everytime I think about missions my heart leaps. It wells up with the many things that God keep teaching me as one whose primary role is mission. When God calls you to mission He does not give you the clear picture of what that will look like. The only assured thing is that He will lead you all the way. Do you know there so many things that we think we cant live without? Missions demystifies this very often. In the current days that we are living in, where technology has become a necessity, to be precise internet. How about network to make a call? Would you imagine such an enviroment? Well, that is not enough, how about being in a place where using a motorbike to travel may close many doors for evangelism? Or even people start avoiding you and you need them in your time there?
Interesting! God has a sense of humor, who would have thought someone would leave the luxury that is in the city and choose to follow their passion to share the gospel to those who have not heard? Can you imagine a place where the nearest shop is 45 kilometers? You ask, how do those people survive? And I will say hang in their we explore this together.
At the beginning of March, three young , passionate, fresh graduate committed themselves to leave the usual path where after school you start the search for white color jobs. Instead they choose a road less traveled. A journey of courage, a journey of resilience, a journey of total dependence of God. A walk in path that is engulfed by many uncertainties. Well, one week into deployment security issues arise. Cattle raids becomes the order of the day, their retaliatory tendencies from the two communities. In the process a life is lost this causes rage, anger and bitterness. All signs of war are smelling! Apparently you only know one person, to make it even more hard you cannot make a simple call incase the war escalated.
Why would a good God allow such to happen when you are trying to find the footing? Is God in this or should they just pack and go back to the city and grow their career? Anytime I doubt God is at work, I look at the things that missionary are ready to give up for the sake of someone who is not their relative to hear the good news. As I look around the environment they are in, I see pure work of the good God. It is in the field that supernatural and miracles are all over. What to eat, how you are preserved even in heightened wars, how God gives you peace to still stay when everything around you seems not be working.
If nothing, the reason mission has no dull moment is because theirs no monotony, its unpredictable. You cannot pride in your ability. It is in this place that we learn total reliance, total surrender, total trust. Where else would you be in such a position? In our busyness of life we are congested and we miss on the great work that God is doing in our midst. God is speaking, He is looking for our attention, are we listening? No, I cry for my generation, we are clogged by so much in surroundings. Social media has taken preeminent, it carries our time, we are trying to fit in. Competition is high, fear of missing out on what is happening, fear of being left behind, you know. We wake and sleep on our phone. We cannot understand how someone in this era can take a day without internet?
Sad reality, we have reduced our lives to the gadget, corona virus did not do us good, rather it enhanced it and we all end up where people are in the same room yet they are isolated. Sad it is. Relationships are dying daily, people no longer know how to engage in real life. It is easier to chat than meet a person physically. People sharing a roof engage each other online. You learn of peoples life on social media. Well, mission gives you the physical touch. In the regions that we are actively involved, having the latest gadget will not be a good idea. In fact that gadget can chase someone from reaching you and engaging.
I am part of the people who feel like I would throw away my gadget and interact freely. We grow strangers by day even with people we ought to be closer by day. Those that are around us cannot feel our presence. Oh, I look for the day that we will be deliberate and intentional in connecting and create real relationship , where people will greet firmly, look into eyes and read the unspoken. The day where we will reconnect once again, deep and lengthy talks, a place where we get broken and vulnerable, where we offer a real shoulder, allow some one sob and assure them that its a matter of time and all will be well.
What led me to this, I covet and relish the moments that our missionaries in Ik community have. Ik community is a forgotten community in the Northern part of Uganda. It is right at the border of Kenya and Uganda, its a mountainous residing community. They have been disadvantaged in so many ways, the entire place they don’t have a school, a health facility. In fact they only have one boy who is able to communicate in English. Out of curiosity he embarked on a journey uphill and one day he landed in a camp in Kenya. Its during his stay there that he learnt English. He has been helpful to the people who visit the community. He translates to his people what is being said.
During our interactions we learn that there exist three different churches in Ik a Catholic church, Anglican and Assemblies of God all planted by the same person. How does that happen? Well, you heard it right, he realised the need to have all denominations catered for and he thought, why not have them all. He does not pastor them, but it shows you the need to have people on the ground who can relate with the community and meet their spiritual needs at all cost.
I love mobilising for mission, I love sharing the diverse exposure and how my perspective keep changing by day. Nothing makes my heart stop than finding a missed call from the 3 gentlemen in Ik, I know it may take weeks before they visit the network zone and at times they get there and the network decides today is not a good day to access those that you are looking for.
What am I saying, I see God at work all around. I see hope in areas that are termed cut out and forgotten. There is so much that is happening. Its a high time we partner in this and have someone get to hear the saving grace that Christ has freely given to us.. .
Its kairos time, the opportune time, the time is now not tomorrow we are in this together. For ways to partner and make this possible you can feel free to reach out to me.
There scriptures that make sense in one place and in others it seems not to be making sense. Ever been in a place where God drops a word in your heart and you feel like its a bad joke? Well, that is the place am talking about. Where you even look for a most appropriate one that might fit the place and circumstances better. God is not like us. If we are keen to His admonition and leading we will not miss what He is saying.
The first time I was at Karamoja God was very specific on the following scripture Philippians 2:3-5 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. The Humbled and Exalted Christ Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, with emphasis on ‘ but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself’. Wow, it is very easy to esteem our bosses and people in authority as better than ourselves, on the other hand it sounds like God just dropped the wrong text for the said people.
You see, Karamoja is one forgotten community, infact you wonder what would be better than me in them? It is really hard to be in my shoes. Then I felt conflicted, I thought, maybe God the word right for this place would be, feed my sheep. It would make sense and atleast easy to relate. Why ask me to esteem them better than myself. Need I remind you that these people would need me for their basics? I at first battled with it, I felt like its not God speaking to me.
As time went by, the word kept coming and reminding me; Grace let each esteem others better than himself! Why now? I was in a place I was just settling in Uganda, the group we were doing global Issues program with, were from different cultures and orientation, and then Kenjong’ was glaring at me.I had alot in my bucket to handle, why would God ask me such to do such a tough thing.
Previously, I had a shadow idea on how Karamoja looks like and what to expect on bare minimum. I looked for words or something that would help me to come to the level of these people. Well, I took most of the time at the back seat. It was safer there. I didn’t know what to do or say. I would gaze at these wonderful people speechlessly. In my queiteness I saw contented people, full of life, genuine laughter and joy unspeakable. I couldn’t help but wonder, what makes them happy and full of joy while all around would require a gloomy face?
Then and then, I discovered there is something am missing they have. The scripture that God dropped in me was slowly and surely making sense. My perspective changed, I couldn’t come into terms why people who are in dire need could afford a smile. All along I thought God was done with them, how would they emit joy when they couldn’t afford two meals a day? Sometimes they go with none at all. How could they afford a smile while they can’t access education, healthcare? How were they doing it? Me on the other side I was thinking of how I need to progress in my career or make more money! Sad it is! Then I realised why I ought to esteem them higher than myself.
I went home a changed person, the things I thought I needed faded away. And I knew I needed a kind of rest and peace that only God gives. The realisation that there are so many things the world has taught us that we can’t do without its a lie. We have been on the bait, we think we can’t live without internet and calls. But why are Karamoja people existing and moreover living a fulfilled life? What am I missing? Why don’t they worry about fashion? Infact there men sometimes walk half naked and have nothing to worry.
In the recent week I visited Karamoja regions for supervision and support to our missionaries. Once again in anticipation I thought it was season for rat as a delicacy. As it is my norm, every time I make trip to the mission field my heart is open. Anything is possible. I remember on our first day as we were visiting a couple missionaries who are settled in Moroto. When in Karamoja two things are constant either looking down if not so, look to Jesus up and above.
Why look to Jesus? On instances you will meet old men wearing a shirt and shuka that is loosely hang and exposing private parts of their body. I kept thinking its not true until I came into contact with one. Wait until our missionary share their ordeal as they offer them services at the health centre. They assure us, its possible to get used. On the other hand, my head and heart can’t come to terms.
Why look down? In my curiosity I learnt that this community do not believe in use of toilets. Why? They say, when poop is accumulated it smells more than when scattered, if not so they are spreading the fertilizer. This explains why you have to keep looking down while you are walking in the villages. Does God love these people? Yes He does. Does He care for them? Yes He does. Is there hope for a better future? Ooh yes am confident.
This recent visit, I looked around the villages and I know that theres so much hope, the future can only get better. It may not happen overnight but sooner than later we are making progress. Where I come from, once upon a time we were in the same shambles as Karamoja is. But when I look around today I see major developments, permanent structures, good road, vast education opportunities. This is a reminder that Karamoja too will evolve.
What won my heart during this visit is an ongoing structure of the church. The stuck am seated on, the above photo offered a shelter to the church of Lotirir. Under this tree, close to two years ago, we danced, led people to Christ, did counselling sessions, and showed Jesus movie to hundreds of Lotirir community. It had a coolant shade, people would raise their voices in honour of their maker. Fellowship, prayers, communion would happen under this tree. As we speak the tree was cut to pave way for development. It broke my heart!
You see, when God is in the big picture we need not worry. The current tree under which saints meet doesn’t offer a good shade like the former. This has made the community to come together and raise a structure. It is a beautiful thing to see church gaining roots. Church without walls is getting walls, soon they will have a place they can meet and share the word. Even in the strains, it has not hindered them to do the needful.
We, on the other side we are much bothered, our church does not have the latest sound. Or maybe the pulpit is not the current one, if not so, what clothes to wear as the choir. The simplicity in this place is breathtaking, no pressure. Did I forget to say a shower is a luxury? Being clean translates to smart. They are unbothered about current trends. The IG and keyboard warrior is alien. While we are trying to stay at bay with the constant war on social media. There concern is grazing, weeding and ofcourse brewing booze.😁😁
As we were seated a few kilometres from the town, the clouds starts getting heavy. Then our host says, we forgot gumboots. Wow, I was on light sandles. This meant, anything is possible. If the heavens opened up, this would translate to a long stretch walking bare feet. I enjoy such moments, when all is rendered futile and you become like them. Just a teaser of how life is for a Karamajong who has to face this kind of life daily. Somethings are better understood upon experience. What better way than to be on their shoes for a moment.
Well, thanks to God the heavens didn’t open up and we were able to get to the guest house safe and sound, no shenanigans.. It is quite true that cattle raiding is very rampant in this town. And retaliation is the order of the day. In the course of our discussion one guy says, if am to speak about cases of insecurity we might spend a whole night and not finish the ordeals that have dominated the region. The most shocking one was how young boys are taking up unhumane acts. You see, we learn alot by observing. Young boys have learnt how to use bow and arrow.
What this has turned out to be is really sad. They have embarked on aiming at people who are using bodaboda rides. Most times they hide under the culvert. Their joy is to see someone fall off the bodaboda and drop dead. I was dumpfounded, that moment when all you desire is to be back home. I couldn’t help but wonder who will deliver this community from such ugly games. To a commoner, that is normal and okay. Infact they think its a game.
Many innocent lives are lost in the process. And no one bothers to seek justice. In the course of time I have realised my experiences are crafting an activist in me. Seeing injustices happening and no one is acting makes me want to shout on top of my voice. When I look at the many kilometers expectant mother’s have to walk to get services my heart stops. Seeing facilities in deplorable conditions and none is bothered has not left me the same.
Karamoja is one of the places that keeps stirring emotions and action point for me. Am not Ugandan, but my heart desires to see a better Uganda. It has been my home for as long us I can remember. It remains close to my heart. In here, I got great covenant friends who make my stay worthwhile.
What am I saying? There is hope in Karamoja. We have a role to play whatsover. They are part of this great nation, they have right to enjoy basic services and have a meaningful livelihood. They deserve better. Infact they even vote for representation in the parliament. As the body of Christ we have to pull up our socks and reach out with intentions.
Looking on the photo above, I was taken aback. I saw myself, how I am quick to package some of my clothes that have been on my wardrobe without use.. Do I take time to think through what would be their dire need or its a dumping affairs? Sad but true. Am guilty as charged. Does it end there? No, not at all. We have a role to play. I and you, we need to wake and smell the coffee. Be an advocate in your sphere of influence. If we all gave concerted effort we can achieve alot. If we wait for government to do it. It may never be forthcoming.
On becoming fearless. Faith over fear. Till all have heard. Do not forsake mercy and truth. The kingdom of God first. Even this will pass.
If someone told me earlier how March was going to be, then I would have boarded the last flight on Feb to the land of unknowns. If we could be able to tell what awaits ahead, I really don’t know how life would be. I guess we would be avoiding some roads, avoid some friends, be better humans, or maybe elope before what is coming finds us. Well that is not always the case, we prepare not knowing we are doing it in vain.
In the recent past the art of strategy, you know five year strategic plan, has been nullified. Ask anyone who had a wedding on Saturday just after the presidents maiden address. The people who run restaurants and bars. Or a person who had just arrived in the village and the unprecedented announcement came. Will you say that he didn’t plan, or was he reckless? No not at all. We are living in very interesting times where staying at home one becomes responsible. Since when did we start clapping at staying home doing nothing? Well, this is the day. The day of the Lord.
Lockdown and what that means is not my point of interest today. I might revisit the story sometime again. You see, when Feb was coming to an end, I had two of my nephews who were unwell, one, a newborn was in hospital for close to a month, the other one had a minor, but delicate eye surgery. Just as they were in hospital my mum had gone for a routine check up. Thanks to God she was given a clean bill of health. Just after my nephew was released from hospital, I remember asking a friend who happens to be a covenant sister, to pray for this cycle to come to an end. Having been away from home, the anxiety that comes with having a sick person had taken a toll on me. And I really desired to have my people well and healthy, just like it is to each one of us.
It all began with a normal cold and flu. We kept insisting that she needed to see a physician. She is this strong person, person of faith. First of all, her blood pressure had been confirmed to be fit. Why are you worried? Days passed by, she kept saying we have ganged against her, the only thing we want is to have her go to hospital. She trashed the hospital idea. We couldn’t tie her and take her to hospital. Well my younger sister went home spent two nights with her. She still insisted it is a matter of time and she will be okay.
As it is the norm, she had to go back to her work and do the needful. With constant call, using conversation to evaluate her condition. A few days later the turn of event started unfolding. What was seemingly normal started mutating to worse. She couldn’t take calls any more, her body had emaciated. We had to use a neighbor who went home and found her condition wanting. Well, my sister had to board the taxi with immediate effect to home. That marked the beginning of a rollercoaster of highs and lows, mostly lows.
The moment she got home, I remember that first call. It was heart wrenching and every nerve in me grew weak. She asked me, do you really pray for us? Then she went off! That alone froze me, in retrospect I didn’t know whether to start walking heading home or what was expected of me. I was utterly shocked, my sister called again and she said, mum is very sick and she is not coordinating things. That was a long lonely night for me. For a minute a reminded God about that man. See how am here goin through this tough phase alone with my pillow to hold onto. This gender though, where are you? Why are you dilly dallying?
That marked the beginning of a journey, a journey of faith, a journey of trust, a journey hanging on His promises. Last weekend we took time to look back at where we began. My sister walked me the journey of the last day mum was home. They woke up well, my sister prepared water for mum to freshen up. She literary crawled from the bathroom, went to her bedroom. As she sat on her bed she said, Bui I agree am really sick, go pour that water very far its very rusty and harmful. My sister walked back to the bathroom to confirm it. She looked at the water and nothing was unusual. she went back noticed she was weak to dress up. Helped her by oiling her and dressing her up. It is really hard to take my vigorous mum relying on someone to do the basics. Well, it is understood.
To date when we look back at that day, its pure God at work, God really saved our mum for those days all for His purpose. When they got to the hospital, waited for long and finally it was their turn. Sadly, upon doctors observation. He said he cannot attend to her and wrote a referral letter to a nearby health Centre that has been set apart for patients with consistent symptoms of the virus that has brought the world to its toes.
This came with mixed feelings both to our mum and to us to. The reality of what this meant did not settle well with us. My sister wheeled my mum to the parking lot for the next destination. My prayer at that point was that God will go ahead of them and level all things. Availability of a bed in the facility was a major concern. Secondly, we know our facilities are overwhelmed, bearing in mind that our health systems are in dire need. Fingers crossed, I remember at that moment I tried to search if I had any contact from the said facility. Sadly I didn’t have. God in his supreme way He made away for them and they were received without much procedure.
The reality of isolation setup did set in when my sister tried to give mum something she had left. She was sprayed all over. And was warned against going beyond the gate. a journey we were never prepared for us and mum to. That was the last time any of us laid eyes on mum. She was so weak that, that evening one of my sister was so shocked she could not call. So, she called me to call on her behalf she said, Sister mum is very sick, please call and confirm she is still alive. I at first laughed at her, she said, am the one who saw mum and I know what am saying. Later on I was made aware that mum walked staggering coz of how weak she was. As they watched her walk to the wards, my sister kept screaming coz she felt that mum needed support which was not readily available.
It is from this point that our faith had to rise above what we were seeing, ask God to perform miracle. The proceeding days were really hard. Calls turned out to be scares, and triggers of anxiety. Every morning the only thing we looked forward to was a simple hallo from mum. That was sufficient to know that still she is alive. I remember one day I called her she said hallo and goodnight in the same statement, She could not hold a conversation beyond that. The past two weeks after very call, what followed next was sobbing. I could not believe the vigorous woman was surviving on machine for oxygen. The days she will make it to the toilet and back safely was a big milestone.
The things that are very obvious stopped being obvious, bathing became a luxury, for a minute she forgot she had a home, all things that carried the day had all stalled. All we desired was her wellbeing, others were luxurious. It broke our hearts, we had to be strong for each other and encourage ourselves. Thanks to people in my circles who have constantly walked with us, emotionally in prayers and also presence has done us well.
Today was one of those days. For a minute or so I allowed the child in me to take over. This happened to the entire congregation at church. Each one of us was handed in a sheet that had a message and a crayon. Interesting!
It turned out to be the most intimate time I have had in a long while. For a moment I forgot all the cares of the world. Bills to be paid by the end of the month. Uncertain monthly salaries, not forgeting my mum who has been hospital for close to two weeks now.
The innocence of a child who prays for her mum to get well but after few minutes goes back to playing, when evening comes a child expects the mum to provide and prepare food for dinner. Operating at a place of rest is the hardest thing for an adult.
According to the instruction, we were expected to colour while meditating. Taking time to thank God for the things He has done thus far. Looking into what is working forgetting what is not working. Introspectiom of positive things only.
This was quite relieving, my mind and heart took a tour of how God has been faithful, how He has been doing things even when I couldn’t feel like He is doing something. The small things yet very ordered by Him. The details of my life. Indeed God is at work. In the busyness of life it is very easy to think that God left and He doesn’t care.
Well, my heart was overwhelmed by joy, beauty for ashes took over and my eyes teared. Why worry when God is in the picture, why take the wheel when you can take the back seat and enjoy the ride. I got stuck at the child posture, a place of knowing I have a good father. A father who is well able.
Adulting can make things really hard, most times we feel like if we release it we gonna loose. Yet that is all God is asking of us. Total surrender, laying it bear at His feet and knowing He will do it. It may not be definate when, but at His time He will do it, its going to be the most perfect thing ever.
Fearless mentality… Faith over fear. Beauty for ashes.
On a good day you have this planned trip to the field, then you realize you do not have a competitive driver for a manual transmission car. Then after several consultation you secure an automatic transmission car. You say a thank you note coz finally the trip ill happen. What was not shared is the detail of the journey. Anyway a car is a four wheel drive why concern about the details? That is not a concern any longer. Before set off, a prayer is said we get covered for the trip. As we leave the parking yard we are given a disclaimer. Little did we know what awaits ahead.
Having been in mission as my primary role has really changed so many things. A starter pack for any mission trip is a mental shift, nothing is guaranteed, usual food is not guaranteed, a comfortable place to lay our heads may not be availed, it might be a simple mat. Well, is this to scare someone intending to do mission ? No, not at all. I have a first hand experience of how God does it. It is during mission ground that I have experienced supernatural things in all fronts.
God is in the details of our lives, at times we only wait to see God when something mega has happened, We think God has done it when we own a house or a big car. But God is doing things even when all is sinking. Do you know its God who allows your car to break down near a petrol station or near a homestead? It might be causing a stranger to come through when you are stuck in the middle of nowhere. No single trip I have made in mission ground has similar God moments, and for that its a reminder that God is doing a great thing behind the scene.
Last week I embarked on a trip to West Nile in hopes to visit placements where we have missionaries serving in different health facilities. I did not know if it was prudent to do that. Emotionally I was not stable, a very close person is in hospital. For four days we were to do a road trip of at least 150Kms on colligated rough roads. On every single day we managed to visit two placements. Each day had it God moment in a special way. According to the disclaimer we were given at the parking lot there was a limit to the speed to maintain. You see, when an owner says something, it is prudent to observe precautions given. We were keen on the speed limit as advised.
On our first stretch of the journey, our car overheated. God is a master planner, as I looked on my left a homestead! This meant we can be able to ask for some water from that home. We walked towards the home, luckily we found a warm girl who willingly gave us enough water to cool our car. What more would we ask for at such a time? Money, connection et el could not rescue us, but God placed that family for us to be able to have our trip. What a great blessing to us. And from that act of kindness we proceeded to our destination. God moment, we miss God when we complain during tough situations and circumstances
At first we thought of abandoning our trip, we called the owner who assured us that it will be well. Sons of encouragement! As a team we were almost thinking of turning back. We had a long journey to trust a car that was heating on short distance, what will happen on bad roads? The reassuring go ahead, gave us more reason to soldier on. Off we proceeded with the journey. Along the way we bought some jerrycans and filled with water reservoir. In my journey of salvation we also experience heating moments but the word of God is such a coolant that enables us to go a little more miles with energy and strength. The practicality of the word of God.
We are living in interesting times where we have to mask up and sanitize regularly. This may not apply in all areas. In the rural areas masking up is not easily welcomed. By merely masking up, everyone is able to tell that you are a stranger. In fact you get warning from the veterans. Apparently, if you appear masked up, they run away coz they think people who put on mask are sick. Not forgetting wearing a mask you protect your neighbor. Interesting story!
Well, on every stop we made, we had to put down our mask for good reception. As a missionary I have learnt to bow down to the level of people that am looking into influencing their lives. As we were on our journey in the middle of nowhere the most unprecedented thing happened. Our car hit a rock that was in the middle of the road and the car swerved off the path, our driver tried to take it back on road and the car skidded ,the next minute we were flying on air for some minutes heading to a ditch. I remember whispering to God to hold us fast. We were all flying in the car, the guy who was co driving told us, he was waiting for us to fall on him. First, I had not buckled up my safety belt. This meant I was tossing all over. For some reason I was holding onto my chair and I was keen to notice what was happening form the time our car hit the rock. When we were thinking that we are headed for a roll, how God just brought the car back to its wheel is a mystery. With a bang, the car landed to the surface and the quietness that had been observed was followed by a sigh of relief. The kind of palpable tension that engulfed us was something.
We all got out of the car just to check on the kind of damage that had happened, as usual the onlookers that were at the edges watching had started building up. We went round the car, no major damage just a simple dent. In my head my mind started playing games, in real sense all along we have been using GPRS to navigate around. This means even if we needed help we could not tell where exactly we were. I just remembered that, in case anything happened it would take maybe a month before anyone notices am missing. Everyone in my family, our energies are geared towards the close person who is in hospital. But God in His own way saved us.
The journey after that was sombre one, the driver was kinder tensed, which he confessed much later. We had an assignment to complete and we were determined to accomplish. It was a success and we were able to do the need assessment, connect with the missionaries. It is quite fulfilling sitting in meetings and hearing the deep work that is taking place in the lives of people, transformation of the missionary and the community at large. On every conversation we are very observative to notice the areas that need improvement, what is working and what is not working. This informs us on our strategy and what to do.
In life there are calls that excite you and there those ones that break us. After a very fruitful meeting, just as we were boarding our car back to our host resident, I received a call that broke my heart. I really desired to take a stop, scream on top of my voice in hopes that maybe, just maybe the pain I was feeling would ease or go away. The pain was too much to bear. All through the journey I fought my emotions just to stay at bay. After serious soliloquy I was able to compose myself and act like nothing was happening. I wore my mask adjusted it properly both physical and even emotional. Otherwise it was backfiring on me.
When we cruised through the rough road I kept checking the dashboard and wow our car was overheating again. It was already dark and in bushy area. Our driver was determined that the next stop was on tarmac and place where we have some buildings incase we need urgent help. I kept telling him that once we get to tarmac he should pull aside and we dance abit. Not because we would have made it home but it meant a great deal for us. Well, we got there safely cooled our car, thank God to kind and warm people in the area. They gave us enough water to take us home and before we knw it we were home. Of the things that happened in this trip is that my shower times were the best. It was easy to sob uncontrollably without reservation. I missed my safe space, all I wanted was crying to reduce on the pain I had gone through. Time and time God kept reassuring me that he is control and true to His word I have seen Him doing marvelous things.
The story continues. Am gonna tuck in will pick it up from there. My emotions are playing games on me. #faithoverfear #thiswillpasstoo.
There days that I feel more single than others. This season has that of more singular..😍😍 For the first time in a long while I desired to have a man in my life. Truth be told, I even made it known to God in my closet. Why? It was taking a toll on me. Am also doubting if that was me or some spirit sent by my tired ancestors to torment me till I get one..
Well, I ussually have crazy conversations in my mind. My mind at times can play games with me. And this season it has kept envisioning how it would be different if he was in my life. I mean the maiden personal person. But I also love my freedom that I feel like I might be robbed off this priviledge.
Subtly, I know deep in me theirs that serious desire for it, the wait has made me think otherwise and acclamatize to the reality am single.😂😂 I do not seek for sympathy because I know people would feel like it is too long. No, not at all. As I wait I do not keep on whining. I have learnt to enjoy and dance on the hallway.
In the recent past I have been going through a phase that has made me doubt my being in Kampala. My job has been at stake, I am no longer sure if God really wants me here or home. I do not have the grip to hold on the happenings back at home with this distance. Panic attacks that have been on the rise, anxiety when things are getting out of hand.
All I desire is someone to share what is happening and just give me a shoulder to lean on. Just to be around do nothing. My house has suddenly become so big for me alone.😇😇 Wierd! I know right!
It is pretty hard to make new friends when you are an adult.. When I came back to Uganda I was quite sure I will make friends easily. Lo and behold, I still find myself leaning back home. It feels safer there, when am stuck it is very easy and comfortable calling someone in Kenya than walking to someone in my neighbourhood.
You ask, how is that possible? I am also trying to decode it. Ask anyone who has moved and they will tell you. You put on mask and all you do is be a nice girl.. No showing real you, hiding behind the mask defines who I am.
I owe it to my girlfriend, one of the days in my house I was balancing tears and helpless. I made a call and she prayed for me over the phone and just like that my bones gained strength. That was pretty long day for me. I would have been more effective and productive if I was home than in Uganda.
God has a sense of humor, in the midst of all this I finally found peace. Peace with myself and peace with what was happening. It is made easy by having one who is calm and collected on the ground.I have not been sleeping well, I almost went to hospital. My body has kinda stopped. The days am working at home, I lazy in bed up till 2pm and the work late night. Its been messy.. If there is a way I could sneak home, I would be home by now.
One day at a time sweet Jesus. I keep walking in hope this will come to an end soon. We are not yet out of the woods. If you know the feeling of having a sick person and when you trying reaching they are out of service. That has been the rollercoaster. That my legs cannot even carry me an inch. I curl up on my coach and cry to God. At times you cry to sleep. But I gotta rise up and face it as it is..
I have been stretched to the brim. I pray this phase comes to an end. One of the nights as I laid in bed, I saw many people with sad faces and others crying.. My heart was moved with compassion. I saw each person walking alone and none is comforting each other. This was because each had a different thing that was saddening them.
Albeit, the following morning since the time I woke up. The calls I received from different people they were all sad news coming. I can’t help but cry to God to carry us through. To quieten our heart, in stillness and in trust that we will look to Him, even when the death is glaring at us. I am this confident that He is well able to do it.
Am reminded of how in the past He has fought for us. Not one time has our backs been against the wall, yet he made a way. He is a waymaker, promise keeper, light in the darkness. Our that is who He is. Are you doubting? Am a living proof of His unending mercies. He won’t relent, whatever He has spoken. He is not son of man that He should lie.
Girding myself with strength. To God be the glory. Faith over fear. The kingdom of God first. Even this will come to pass.
The past three weeks have been very intense week for us, as an organization we prepared, equipped, and linked a number of young, fresh graduate who are passionate about the gospel of Jesus Christ.
In my walk of salvation, a little earlier especially campus days. I relish how we would plan for two week mission at a place of choice before we head home for holidays. I saw people come to Christ and others rededicate their lives to God. Aww it was an awesome feeling, fulfilment of work well done.
Well, as time goes by you come across things that help you evolve on how you approach things and change your perspective. In the recent past I have found myself being involved in mission as a primary role. I have seen dire need for gospel, a case in point I went for an outreach and I came across a man who was conflicted on whether to believe in God or believe in Jesus. Interesting story there, yet its a true narrative.
In the course of this week I released a group of missionaries to the field. Not for a week or two in the mission field but for solid one year. Before I joined the organization I work for, I would vouch for two weeks mission and be happy of a bountiful harvest. Well, that has changed after having missionaries who spent a whole year with a community. Lived with them and cracked what really happens. I have come to realize that people who have not heard the gospel cannot be transformed by a two week mission. Instead they need discipleship and in turn they become disciples of Jesus Christ. One of the missionary who has been in the field told me, the whole church usually gets saved every time there’s is an altar call.
This raised my eyebrows, I mused at a thought of every Sunday the same person is getting saved. I did an introspection of the times I have been bragging how after preaching, 100 people gave their lives to Jesus. I do not want to water down the fact that we are fulfilling the great commission when we go for the two week mission. No, not at all! I have seen the need of using a different approach on how we carry out effective mission. We need a different strategy to achieve this.
God has called us to the city, synagogue, rural areas and cut off areas to. We may say the cities have been reached by the gospel, but I dare you, we have a great chunk that have not had the privilege of hearing the gospel of Jesus Christ. When we mention mission we imagine those far places like Karamoja, Turkana, Wajir, Marsabit those far places. You see, the church and the body of Christ has a mandate and the primary being sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ till all have heard. The great commission it is!
As I sat on my desk thinking of the regions and areas that I will place the young, fresh graduate who are passionate for mission, I couldn’t help, my mind took a detour and went through the motions. The reality that awaits the said young graduates. I had to reminisce the times they might not access network to call their loved ones. The sacrifice of being away from the comfort of life. The fear of unknown, new culture, new food, new language. The fear of being rejected, fear of work dynamics, misunderstanding with work mates. The fear of posing a threat to the staff in the mission field . The fear of having a difficult partner who has a different personality. And above all the fear of how your needs will be met.
Its a whole basket full of all manner of fears, fear in all faces. All kind of fears that exist in the world is what I envisioned. Albeit all the fears, the subtle and deep conviction that are in these young graduates clears all the fear. The place of prayer, calms all the fears and gives me reason to dance in jubilation. Why? Facing the task unfinished will be done by the feet of those who go, the knees of those that pray and the hands of those who give. Am glad I have a group of missionaries who are saying, here I am send me.
I have come to realize, if we wait to have all the monies that we need for the great commission to happen, then we may never commit to go out and share the gospel. If we wait till we have enough people who can go, then we may never be able to share the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is a matter of obedience, taking heed to the call, trusting the one who called. He has promised to light the way. He doesn’t need to show the entire journey but step by step we will achieve great milestone than seating and waiting till we have all the resources.
Overtime I have experienced super natural provisions, I have seen God heal in miraculous way, I have seen God make way the many times I have reached the end of the way. Every time I listen to the stories of our missionaries in the field, its evident this is His work. He uses whoever and whichever means to ensure the work continues. Even with meagre resources He makes the little elastic. I promise it is not a swift journey, but the becoming is important. It is in the mission field you learn to trust God for the least of things that are very obvious. It is in mission the field that I have learnt to appreciate what I have. It is in the mission field that I have learnt to be sensitive on how am leading my private life and even the picture I portray to the public.
I have been challenged as a person, I have been stretched. I thank God for the in-depth knowledge of the word of God I have acquired through teachings and trainings. At times that knowledge has turned out to be futile, most especially when you meet a person who has never heard any gospel. It takes courage to be able to come to the level the said person is in. It is very easy to loose patience in explaining basics to someone . Missions is diverse, God might be calling you or me to that intellectual colleague at work who believes that believers a sycophants, maybe he is calling you or me to that person whose body is full of tattoos, the one you do not want to be seen hanging around with. He might be calling you or me to that person who will make fun of you because you believe in a book that was written by people you know not.
We live in very interesting times philosophers , Mr. google who has all the answers to anything. People who are very intelligent who will question anything that is presented before them. The era of technology, instant and quick fixes, the era of discoveries and all manner of things. Yet God has called each believer to use their space and scope as mission field. It is evident in the cities we have many churches in one street, sadly the number of people who are unchurched is worrisome. It is clear that we have a role to play. We cannot shy away and say that the pastors will do it. No, not at all.
Our desks are the latest pulpit, our profession are the entry point, our prowess are the tools that we have at hand. The forums that we speak and do presentation are our mission field. There are doors that only you can knock and be allowed entry. It is very easy for a community to listen to a doctor, a teacher or even a social worker. In real sense meetings that are organized by professions are largely attended, there, just there, in that meeting a table has been laid. Do not let it go without you letting know that they need God in all their endeavors. Simple it is, we got no excuse why we ain’t sharing the gospel. Do not say you are waiting till you take that leave and go out. Be the best disciple who is discipling his or her juniors. If we do that, we will bring many to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.
#faithoverfear #Tillallhaveheard #the kingdom of God First #forsakenottruthandmercy
Its a wrap up for the month of love. Its been an amazing journey, journey of learning, adjusting and stirring of things that might have been buried in forgetfulness.. Not forgetting the pastor who has been teaching this series. His cool demeanor from the outlook is quite deceiving. He has this witty tendencies that has made the series very relatable and easy to grasp.
I totally love how the preacher has been beginning the sermon, a thought provoking question. It has been a grip to cause one to be curious, it also creates an expectancy. Personally am not one who love engaging in matters to do with relationship and love. I am the worst to be in such conversations, I no longer have energies to defend what I believe,neither do I want to sell my school of thought. I belong to the school of hard knocks, story for another day.
I was kinda offended, how can one underrate flowers? Like how on earth do you call flowers wild bush? Well, I felt attacked when the pastor said that flowers are some wild bushes. Some of us flower sweeps us of the feet. We need to revisit the five languages of love, in fact I felt cheated when they gave me chocolate instead of flower. Flowers have a way of creating a fresh environment that brings life to those around. This doesn’t cut across to everyone, thanks to mask that my facial expression was not out their. I was hurt, but its life!
Today we gonna be candid and raw as much as possible, we delve in one of the conversations that church and believers at large are shy at addressing. Its one area most of us learnt in passing, either through television, friends, reading or in the process of exploring. Sex is a taboo that even mentioning it you avoid eye contact, truth be told very few people were taught about sex by their parents. Apparently the puberty age has gone down to the age of nine, I thought you should know.
The question of the day brought my jaws down, it was unexpected yet I have never given it a thought. What would be the advantages and disadvantages if sex didn’t have boundaries? Quite interesting! For a minute my mind shut down, it could not process what that would look like. Anyway as usual we had different answers from the congregation, one said, we will have many children. Someone else said it will not have value. I was like a zombie when I listened to the answers.
Well, this took me back to growing up. Am among the few people who had a conversation matters sex from my dad. I relished that moment when he came home with newspaper on one of the world aids day. He allowed me and my younger sisters to go through the dairies. It was quite a test we didn’t know what he was up to. In a nutshell, he helped us to see that if we go sleeping around with men,not only would we get pregnant but we can as well get a virus. What a man. may his soul rest in peace.
We are sexual being, when God created male and female that is where it all began. He gave sex as a gift for procreation. It is to be enjoyed in the right context. Sex is divine and it was in his plan as he created human being. Does that give us room to be careless and go overboard? Not at all, Yes we will struggle because we are sexual being, how we respond to it matters.
This brought us to the sermon of the day, sex and its boundaries. Do we really need the boundaries? Is it of any essence that we keep the boundaries? What do we benefit from keeping the boundaries? What does the word of God say in regards to sex? You see, its very easy to give in to the sexual desire but we do not have the control of what happens after giving in. 1 Corinthians 6:13 says. Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods, but God will destroy them. Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lords,and the Lord for the body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee sexual immorality.Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual sins against his own body. (NKJV) Sex is to be enjoyed in the context of marriage, anything out of that is sexual immorality. However we brand it, its immoral and its a sin.
We are living in very interesting time where being a virgin is outdated and old school. Sex we see from the word of God that, all every sin that man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual sin sins against his own body. Its simple as that, when we engage in sexual sin we sin against ourselves. Its not for the world to know, the guilt will follow wherever we go. Sex was created by God himself but it is to be honored and it has its boundaries. It would be bad walking all around with guilt and condemning what happened. We instead should hold on, pull up our pants.
We ought to avoid things that trigger sexual urge, we agreed that we are sexual being. This means what you see, what you hear, conceive,and process will influence our sexuality. In the era where we can access anything right at our finger tips it calls for high level of self control. Pornographic sites are accessible anytime anywhere. Immorality is acceptable in our modern day society.
Where does this leave us? Do we live a reckless life and not talk about it? Not at all. We have an obligation to bring up a generation. The word of God is standard it does not change with era or generations. Its infallible, it can be trusted, its where we get our blue print in all areas of our lives, this includes sex and sexuality. Our take home being we need to do a candid introspection on the loose ends and tighten our belts. We need to be radical on saying and having conversation around it. We cannot continue shying away that which holds our future. We need to be on guard, it begins with each one of us married or not married. Even the married confess the struggle is real, work places, on the streets and even in churches are not either making it easy for them. We have control of what to do after we see. Flee , do not be tempted to touch, do not allow your heart to process what you see.
Sexual sin harbors guilt that you might have to walk with for decades. Does this mean those who have fallen in it cannot receive grace? Not at all! We have a gracious God, he wont relent to extend it to us freely. We have a role to play. Which is, acknowledging we are heading the wrong direction and making a u-turn, seek solace in Him. He will not fail us. Seek counsel, also ask someone to hold you accountable to the new commitment.
What an interesting way to end the month of love. There is a clarion call to each one of us. We have to get out of our comfort zone and package this giant around sex, in a way that a believer or even a growing child would embrace it the right way. We need to create an environment where our children can be free to engage with us, without judging harshly. We cannot afford to be like our parents who the only thing they told us, was to keep away from boys or girls and somehow we interpreted what they meant.
Well, as I come to an end of this series I have to confess, for the first time I allowed what is in my heart to be read in the public. This was through the struggle is real series in my word press. This is a highlight for me. It has been a safe place for me where I keep writing but no one knows I do. Anyway hope to explore more in public space. I am glad I embraced the series and engaged a learning mode as the series began, this has opened things in me that have been in the shelves unattended,to God be the glory.
In conclusion, this one might be tough! I have to say age is not a number it comes with so many changes and experiences, Physically, emotionally,socially and economically. The topic desperate for love and relationship to a person in their twenties is not same for one in their thirties. It is a whole topic for another day. How to know he or she is the one, it means a whole difference depending on which age bracket you are in. True love is also different depending on the age gap. When we talk about sex and boundaries, you will be wrong to put similar disclaimer to a person in the age gap of thirties and forties in the same category with a person in their twenties. People who are progressed in age priority changes and they face different challenges. Physical changes come in handy, cases of hormonal imbalance. What triggers them is not even what they see, it goes beyond. They fight a battle no one knows or understand. Sometime not even a single person looks at them and says a word in matters relationship. Saad, but its a reality that is with us.
Getting married does not make one smart on matters relationship and love. With all due respect,It is offensive to start giving tips to people who have waited a little longer than you did. Silence will suffice. It will be prudent to pray for them. I have one policy, if you are not praying for someone, do not ask when they will get married,period. Its not right and it does not go down well. Getting married doesn’t earn you master of counselling, if not asked for your help please do not be quick to offer. When I say this am referring to seniors who are in the waiting. It might be helpful to your peers or those younger than you but not for the mature.
As mentioned earlier this was going to be tough. As I wrote this my heart kept drawing to those in the waiting room for long and even now no one is approaching them. The group that is not categorized, they are no longer youth and yet they are not married. They are always forgotten lot. No one knows what they are struggling with. The battles they go through can only be understood by one who has walked in their shoes. The struggle is real, pressure is mounting on them from all sides, they have beaten themselves and have termed themselves as failure. They cannot even contain the pressure within,yet the society either is not giving them room. When they go to church, all gatherings its like the whole world has joined hands against them.
You see, they have every reason to throw in towels. They got into relationship that progressed to even introduction and later it never materialized. Anytime someone sees them with a man the question that follows is not pleasant. When they do something extra they are misunderstood, no one is paying attention to this glaring need. Ask a woman or a woman in late thirties or in forties how they roll. You will be surprised!I salute all seniors in waiting. The journey can only be understood by one who has walked through and has a success story. The struggle is more real that side.
As I wrap up, I want to challenge each one of us to be gracious enough one to another. Let our words be seasoned with grace. Let us treat others better than ourselves. Be a brothers keeper, hold someone accountable and be deliberate to walk with someone. To a sister or a brother in waiting, one day, just one day,this God will do it for you. I do not know how, but I know He is well able. The journey is not for the swift, gird yourself with strength. Be kind to those around you even when they least deserve it. Do not be the reason someone ends up doing a drastic silly mistake.
A good preacher has bare minimum of three conclusions I have a passed the test. On a lighter note. This series has been inspired by the sermon series that we have been going through. The sentiments expressed in all my writings are personal thoughts from a random girl. Hope you enjoy the read. Your feedback is highly appreciated
Its been an amazing month of love, the sermon series for this month being the struggle is real. Today we had a subtitle true love. Wow! Its sounds appealing and captivating. What a nice intriguing title,don’t we all crave for true love? We will do all we can just to have a glimpse of it.
As I made my way to church my rider was really fast. I remember the many times I reminded him we ain’t going to put off fire. Well, I know I was getting late but that didn’t give him a ticket to be fast. I am one of the passenger who I guess, if any rider I have used is to share the experience, it would be comical.
In the course of my ride to church I didn’t have expectation on topic to do with matters love and relationship. In the past two Sundays the sermon series have really mirrored my life, so I thought I needed a break..As we are all aware Valentine was last Sunday. Any who, today was interesting, soul searching and depth of the matter. Being a Sunday just after the coveted day of love. What was there in store for us?
However, the way pastor began was quite intriguing. His first question was, have you ever thought of revenging your ex? Or have you ever witnessed a revenge by exes? Well, I didn’t know what to expect from the congregation. It stirred a few thoughts in my mind. What would one benefit after revenge? Someone said that one cheated to revenge, another one said, a lady went ahead to date the father to the guy. Ouch, gross it is! Another one said they poisoned her ex together with his new bride on their wedding day. Love Love Love! The magnitude on which love can cause damage.
Valentine is the best and the worst day for lovers. To those that the relationship is blossoming, it is the best day of the couple. Its also the worst season for a relationship that is rocky. It is also a reminder to those that are in waiting that its time to get someone who can love you. Well, the day comes and goes regardless of the circumstances that are on the ground.
According to John 9:1-10, the story of the woman who was caught in adultery. They brought the woman to the teacher Jesus Christ, they made her stand in the middle of the court and brought the case before Him. Now, according to the law of Moses such women were to be stoned to death. I pause, why didn’t they just stone her to death? Interestingly they brought her to the master. wow! However, this was a test to the master. When they persisted, the master stooped down and wrote down on the ground with His finger, let him who is without sin be the first to throw a stone to her.
Then He bent down and continued to write on the ground, when Jesus raised himself up. He said, woman where are your accusers? Has no man condemned you? She answered, no one, Lord. And Jesus said, I do not condemn you either. Go on your way and from now on sin no more. Interesting story there, I muse and wonder alone, who was the first person to start walking away after Jesus said,whoever is without sin be the first to throw a stone? He or she must be courageous one, owning up to defeat is not easy.
The human I am I would not be able to walk away, maybe I would negotiate my way out. Who walks away while we all know that we caught her red handed? She deserves to be reprimanded. Well, I am not God neither can I be like God. From the above narrative, we see how God love is. In spite of the case that was strong against this woman, He forgave her. We see the restorative kind of love being displayed here.
This month of love,some people have been broken, nursing hurt, angered,embittered,betrayed and all manner of things that have left indelible marks in their lives. The ultimate and most obvious is taking revenge,or wish for something bad to happen to your spouse or your ex. I know the feeling too well, most of us if not all we have suffered break up. We were crushed and messed. We somehow lost our identity as we battled the break up. Especially after a long wait for the right one, or even after a mega wedding that every one in town is talking about. We wear a gown of shame that causes us to be like the accusers of the adulterous woman in the passage.
We go before God asking him to send storm to those that have let us down. I know us too well, the day your world came crumbling. Especially when you remember how they made you feel, when the relationship was blossoming. How you thought you cant survive without him/her. And now it ended with premium tears. Where was God when all this happened? Our God demonstrates the restorative kind of love not vindictive. Yes, I fully understand why you would feel justified to revenge. But wait a minute, how does God treat us when we fall out of his will and plan? The many times we make silly mistakes even the ones he warned us against? Don’t we deserve His wrath? Don’t we deserve serious punishment? Oh yes we do.
What do we learn from this, true love exists. Its the kind of love that God has offered us. It is unconditional, its constant even when we very well know how far we are from Him. This kind that still welcomes us after wandering and trying all manner of things. Our God is not holding a stick waiting for us to make the next mistake so that he can beat us. Instead, he welcomes us and warms us like we never went away at all. Well, today we were challenged to extend the same kind of Love and grace to those that have wronged us. Not to be quick to judge, to condemn them,and wish them to be raptured. But when all is said and done we will wish them the best of luck.
Be quick to extend grace just the way God has constantly done to us. If we could do a candid introspection of our past hurts. We are well able to see all the red flags that kept popping up. We kept hoping that things will change and he/she will come around, most times we end up tolerating abuse. We fear what the society will think of us if we walked out of the relationship. We cling in hope at the end we are deeply hurt and broken God knows. The preacher today said marriage is hard, ask those who are married for twenty four minutes. I was astonished at that. Its been a repeated phrase by most married people. It will not be rosy all through, you will experience highs and lows in equal measure. In all things marriage is a beautiful thing and it is to be desired. It is the institution where grace and mercy is to be practiced on daily basis. There will be days you will wonder what you saw in the first place. It works,it is work itself.
Does true love exist? Oh yes it does! We give love because we have learnt to receive it from love himself. The way we receive the love of God is a catalyst of how we will give it and receive it to. At times we are poured a lot of love but since we don’t know how to receive it we end up dismissing it. We learn true love from the master who is Jesus Christ. It doesn’t change, it does not go stale, its ever fresh and readily available to all who desire it.
Gods love is reckless, I say reckless because he loves us even when we deserve to be thrown away. He will kick every wall, tear every lie just to come after us. His love is overwhelming never ending love, it chases us,leaves the ninety nine to look for one.We do not deserve it, we have not earned it yet He is open to us every time we run to him. Just turn to God and he will ravish you with unending love.